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Healing with "disinterested" love...

Observing or experiencing love can have a profound impact on healing, emotional well-being, and overall quality of life. Love provides a sense of connection, acceptance, and support that can promote emotional and physical healing and resilience in the face of life's challenges.


As humans we to to be able to be witnessed and validated for what our human experience is, co-dependance arises when we take on a loved ones pain as our own and try to remove it on their behalf - this is impossible and in a way it is stealing another persons soul work.


At times empathy can overwhelm and shut down a person of high sensitivity and without understanding health boundaries of "self" and "other", so what is really happening in the healthy expression of this process?


The power of healing through witnessing refers to the therapeutic or transformative effect that occurs when individuals observe, acknowledge, and validate the experiences, emotions, and stories of others, but how do we do this?


  1. Creating a Safe and Supportive Environment: Space holding involves providing a physical, emotional, or psychological space where people feel comfortable, safe, and encouraged to be themselves.

  2. Active Listening: Effective space holding often involves active listening. This means paying close attention to what others are saying without judgment, interruption, or the need to offer immediate solutions. Give people your full attention and show empathy and understanding.

  3. Non-Judgment: Avoid passing judgment on others' thoughts, feelings, or experiences. People should feel free to express themselves without fear of criticism or condemnation.

  4. Empathy and Compassion: Demonstrate empathy and compassion towards others. Try to understand their perspectives, emotions, and needs.


5. Encouraging Expression: Encourage individuals to express themselves honestly and openly. Sometimes people may have difficulty sharing their thoughts and feelings, so creating a safe space can help them open up.


6. Holding Space for Silence: Sometimes, silence can be just as important as words. Allow for moments of quiet reflection or contemplation, as people may need time to process their thoughts and emotions.


7.Avoiding Advice-Giving: While it's tempting to offer advice or solutions, especially when someone is facing challenges, effective space holding involves letting individuals explore their own thoughts and solutions. Ask open-ended questions to help them discover their own insights.

8. Respect Boundaries: Be mindful of personal boundaries and respect them. Everyone has their own comfort zones, and it's important to honor those boundaries.

9. Staying Present: Stay present and fully engaged in the moment. Avoid distractions or preoccupation with your own thoughts or concerns.

10. Practicing Patience: Space holding may require patience, as people may need time to process their feelings and thoughts. Be patient and allow individuals to express themselves at their own pace.

11. Maintaining Confidentiality: If applicable, ensure that what is shared within the space is kept confidential. This helps build trust and encourages openness.


As a space holder, it's essential to take care of your own well-being. Listening to others' challenges and emotions can be emotionally taxing, so make sure you have the necessary support and self-care practices in place.


Overall, space holding is about creating a supportive and non-judgmental environment where people can be themselves, express their thoughts and emotions, and feel heard and understood. It's an important skill in fields like counseling, coaching, and community building, as it fosters trust, healing, and personal growth.

The power of healing through witnessing refers to the therapeutic or transformative effect that occurs when individuals observe, acknowledge, and validate the experiences, emotions, and stories of others. Witnessing can play a significant role in the healing process in several ways:

When someone's experiences and emotions are witnessed and acknowledged, it can provide a deep sense of validation. People often struggle with self-doubt and feelings of isolation, and having their experiences acknowledged by others can be a healing and affirming process.


Witnessing involves not just observing but also empathizing with someone's emotional pain, trauma, or challenges. Expressing empathy can create a strong bond and understanding between the witness and the person sharing their experiences, which can be immensely healing.

Sharing one's experiences with a compassionate witness can provide a safe space for emotional release. Crying, expressing anger, or revealing deep emotions can be cathartic and help individuals process their feelings.


Witnessing can create a sense of belonging and connection. It reminds individuals that they are not alone in their experiences and that others have faced similar challenges. This sense of community can be healing and reassuring.

Hearing the stories and experiences of others can lead to a shift in perspective and a deeper understanding of one's own situation. Witnessing can offer new insights and coping strategies.


Witnessing and sharing traumatic experiences can lead to post-traumatic growth, where individuals develop increased resilience, personal strength, and a greater appreciation for life after facing adversity.


For many individuals, the act of sharing and being witnessed can break the cycle of isolation and silence that often accompanies trauma and emotional pain. Breaking this isolation can be a crucial step in the healing process.


Storytelling is a powerful means of making sense of one's experiences and integrating them into one's life narrative. Witnessing encourages and facilitates this process.



Friends, family members, and empathetic listeners can also play a significant role in supporting the healing process by being witnesses to others' experiences. However, it's essential to approach witnessing with care, empathy, and respect, and to be aware of the potential emotional toll it may take on the witness. Be mindful to include permission from the person who is in the role of the witness as well as respect and protect one another's boundaries and the ability to say, not now, or no more. We all have varying thresholds and in the relational dance and this element of respect for "other's" is a sacred responsibility.



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