The Sacred Alchemy of Shame and Approval - Solar Plexus Spelunking.

Spelunking, also known as caving, is the recreational pastime of exploring natural caves. It involves navigating through dark, often challenging cave systems.

I recently had an experience of journeying into my self-esteem through a BDSM practice, where I connected to my youngest, most tender parts—and asked her to beg for her deepest feminine desires.

I’m great at this kind of practice. I’ve been leading and co-leading healing events for over 15 years. Most recently, I’ve become enamored with erotic energy as medicine—the medicine journey of my liberated heart-womb.

“Heart-womb lucidity” might not yet be a thing for you, dear reader. It wasn’t for me for a long time. I was numb to that part of my birthright. A lifetime of armouring that helped me survive.

Something heats up in a woman’s heart-womb as she nears the end of her menstruating years. I call it the 100 Periods Club.

Within a few years, my sexual hormone panel, aka my motivations, desires, devotions—will change course. And when you’ve got 100 periods left… your heart-womb gets hungry.

For me, the hunger was buried in a tangled mess of all the things I believed I could not have. I hear this often from women:

“It’s too painful to desire.”“I want too much.”“I’m too big.”“I am too much.”

Some version of this fear haunts us. The how dare I?  blocks our ability to even locate our own heart’s desires.

And yet—those desires? They are the most precious part of a person. Our most vulnerable self is the keeper of our truth.

Between the archetypal Mother and the Crone lies a third phase — one often overlooked or forgotten. It’s the Autumn of a woman’s life, known by some as Maga.

(Yes, let’s pause here for a moment to acknowledge the irony: how even this word has been hijacked by systems of power that fear the real kind — the kind that lives in us.

Midlife isn’t a death — it’s an initiation. A spiritual and cultural rite of passage into leadership, erotic truth, and embodied wisdom. It’s not just about claiming this energy for ourselves — it’s about learning how to channel it in a way that sustains us, not burns us out.

In the world of conscious kink and energetic intimacy, there exists a transformative magic that goes far beyond sensation or pleasure—it’s the alchemy of ego, power, and presence.

So how do you get deep into yourself?

You must conjure the chemistry of humility.

How do you build your own chemistry? Make the sounds. Take the shapes. Let your body become the emotion you are invoking.

One of the most potent doorways into this sacred work is the intentional use of humiliation—not as harm, but as healing. When paired with approval, loving presence, and primal polarity, it becomes a ritual of deep surrender and soul reclamation.

This is where Yang and Yin, dominance and submission, ego and essence, come into sacred dance.

Polarity of energy initiates magic, alchemy and transformation at a cellular level.

Polarity as a Healing Force: The Dance of Yang and Yin

At its core, BDSM—when held consciously—is a form of embodied polarity practice. It activates primal energies:

• Yang: penetrative, directive, fierce, structuring

• Yin: receptive, surrendering, intuitive, dissolving

In a Dominant/submissive dynamic, these forces become flesh. The Yang energy holds, shapes, and commands. The Yin energy opens, yields, and reveals. But this isn't about power-over - it's power-with.

Each polarity awakens the other.

When the submissive offers themselves in humility, and the Dominant meets them with approval instead of judgment, something alchemical occurs:

Shame is transmuted into devotion. Fear is transfigured into trust. The ego dissolves to make space for truth.

Humiliation as Ego Death | and Sacred Mirror

Humiliation play, when done with intention, isn’t about breaking someone down. It’s about stripping away the false self: the performative ego that clings to being perfect, pleasing, or in control.

The act of being “humiliated”—made to kneel, to beg, to be seen in your rawest form—can stir deep shame. But in conscious dynamics, that shame becomes an invitation to surrender the illusion of worthlessness and step into a more honest, naked self.

The secret ingredient? Loving, approving presence.

When a Dominant meets a submissive’s humiliation with tenderness, containment, and reverence, it rewires old emotional pathways. It says:

“Even now—especially now—I see you. You are still worthy. Still mine. Still beautiful.”

In this moment, the wound of shame is transformed. Approval is not granted for perfection, but for authenticity.

The solar plexus—your third chakra, located just above the navel—is the energetic center of personal power, identity, self-worth, and will. When trauma is stored here, it often relates to the core of who we believe we are and whether we feel safe or empowered to take up space, act on our desires, or express our truth.

🜁 Alchemy: Turning Shame into Gold

In mysticism and Jungian depth psychology, shame is often associated with the shadow—the parts of ourselves we’ve rejected, hidden, or feared. True transformation doesn’t mean bypassing the shadow, but meeting it with love.

Through conscious kink and embodied polarity:

• The submissive reclaims the right to be seen in all states—desperate, filthy, needy, soft.

• The Dominant becomes a vessel for transmutation—holding the tension between degradation and divinity.

• Together, they enter a field of mystical healing, where approval becomes the solvent for internalized shame.

What emerges is not humiliation, but humility—not self-deprecation, but truthful surrender.

Humility: The Gateway to Soul

Unlike shame, which shrinks and isolates, humility expands and liberates. It is the recognition that:

“I am not above or below, I am simply this.”

In submission, humility becomes sacred. It says:

• “I offer myself.”

• “I release control.”

• “I surrender my masks, my roles, my resistance.”

And the gift is immense: not only emotional release, but spiritual intimacy—with self, with partner, with the divine.

When practiced with care and presence, these rituals don't just stimulate—they repattern:

• Old stories of unworthiness begin to unravel.

• The nervous system learns that surrender is safe.

• Self-worth becomes rooted in truth, not performance.

You begin to trust your own openness, and the fear of being “too much” or “not enough” loses its grip.

This is the mystical healing essence of conscious BDSM.It is holy undoing.It is embodied liberation.It is divine polarity in motion.

If you’re drawn to this path—of sacred submission, of primal devotion, of ego transformation, know this:

Your shame can become gold.

Your surrender can become strength.

Your darkest places can become the very altar upon which your truth is revealed.

All it takes is polarity, presence, and the courage to be seen.

Let the Yang hold.

Let the Yin melt.

Let the alchemy begin.

This is true transformation - welcome to erotic alchemy.